Dear July,

I had the courage and strength to venture out of the house today. After a month of being bedridden, it was both refreshing and scary to be able to go out on my own again. I noticed the little things that had changed in the month I was grounded at home; the slightly varied motions of the trains that I was not accustomed to, the ongoing GSS (Great Singapore Sale) that began in June, and so on. There were some familiarities for me to return to as well, such as the hustle and bustle of Singaporeans, rushing to whatever they were rushing for. I guess that is one thing that will never change.

Today you showed me what an introverted person I am; I cannot make conversation with someone I'm not particularly close to without having an awkward moment. Somehow making small talk or even being assigned what to say does not register with this brain of mine because whenever it comes to talking to someone I'm not close to, it just shuts down. I am embarrassed by this, I am ashamed and humiliated by this. I don't think I used to be like that, because people who have known me from young (like my parents) have always told me I have an outgoing personality. But then again, people change and so do I. What I was before is not necessarily all that I am now.

Today you rekindled my fire for God. It has almost been a month since the last DG (Discipleship Group) meeting, and singing the songs and worshiping God tonight was something I had missed so much, what with having to miss church because of my sickness and all. There is no greater joy than to fellowship with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, and being with such like-minded people is truly therapeutic.

Today I finally managed to meet one of the most important people in my life again, after practically a whole month (yes, my sickness). It was exhilarating knowing he wanted to see me as much as I wanted to see him, as he ran towards me in the shopping centre. It was a tough June  for both of us, with all the worrying and crying and panicking and praying, and we even missed the chance to celebrate our anniversary. I feel so bad knowing he was so understanding of my situation, and I wish I can make up for that selflessness in some way. I am so grateful for people like him in my life.