Dear July,

I'm going to have a love-hate relationship with you. I'm glad you're here because that means June is over, and that means my month of sickness is officially history. I'm glad you're here because it means a fresh start with a new month, to do the things I've always wanted to but seldom/never get the chance to. I'm glad you're here because it is another 31 days to explore the world and discover myself; I don't know what will happen in these 31 days, but the suspense is what makes it so exciting. I'm glad you're here because it means God has granted me another month of life, and be it good or bad, that life is something to be grateful for.

I hate that you're here because that means another month has flown by without my complete awareness; it means the things I've done or haven't done in June cannot be taken back. I hate that you're here because July means I'm one month closer to the end of the long school break, and there's only one month left before university begins. I hate that you're here because you have started making me reflect upon my last 6 months, and whether I've used them to the fullest I can. I hate that you're here because that means everyone is a month older, and that means time is one month closer to taking the people I love away from me forever.

Today you gave me a lot of my firsts: my first gastroscopy, my first sedation, my first hospitalisation, my first look into my own stomach, my first ultrasound. It was a day spent in the hospital that coincidentally was where I was born as well. I was afraid to experience so many firsts today, because I have never been sedated to sleep before, neither was I feeling so good in my stomach. Perhaps I was doubting the doctor's ability even though I knew how experienced he was in his field. Perhaps I was doubting my ability to get through the procedure smoothly. But today was a day to be thankful for, because everything did go smoothly, and thank God there were no serious issues with my body. Apart from the possible hole I've burnt in my parents' pockets, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with the world.

I am grateful for today because I witnessed the beauty of mankind in the form of encouragement and prayers. I received so many well-wishes from my peers and my mentors, and that made me feel that I was not alone in this. There are many instances where we don't need big things to happen before we see the beauty in life; a lot of times, the smallest gestures and actions we often take for granted can show us why life is worth it, if only we just pay attention.