I realised, more recently, that my body and my mental capacity has limits. I used to think that I could throw myself around the whole day and leave without a single scratch, and without any repercussions.

Clearly I was wrong.

Now I know that I can't eat everything, I can't drink everything there is to drink. In fact, because of my poor and weak stomach I can't drink or eat anything acidic - this includes joys and supplements like Koi or Gongcha or coffee (I also can't eat spicy food but that's okay since I don't eat it anyway). I am not like everyone else. I can't enjoy a book with a cup of hot tea by my side - that will just make my stomach act up and a lot of discomfort ensues. I can't force myself to stay up late by drinking cups of coffee.

On staying up late, I can't do that too much either. My body is so used to sleeping regular hours that going a few days with little sleep gives me a headache for the whole day. And I mean the whole day. Without ever getting any better. In fact the headache gets worse. Last weekend I couldn't even eat my dinner properly and I was seeing stars because of the headache I was having.

There are limits to my body and my mental state that I cannot push. Other things - my concentration, my emotions - I can control, but there are just some habits and limits that can never be pushed because that would just make things a lot more uncomfortable and a lot worse.

This is my muse at 2am in the morning.