Okay, so just now I had a very impromptu, spur-of-the-moment thing: I followed my hall's Cultural Director the the music room, walked in and said, "Hi, can I audition for Jam Band?" I felt so bad a few seconds later because they told the next guy to wait while they auditioned me and at the same time I felt so excited. It's been a really long while since I had gone for an audition; the last ones I went for went horribly, needless to say (UK conservatories). Oddly enough though when I spontaneously went for the Jam Band auditions I didn't feel any nervousness or chills or the need to shit. I was relaxed and nonchalant, and I did quite well if I do say so myself. And yes I got in.

So for the audition they asked me which instrument I could play or if I was doing vocals. My response: "I can play all the instruments." I'm not trying to brag here; I have a point to this. It is true that I can play all the instruments in a band. That's a skill I pride myself with. It's something that defines who I am. But I have no idea how other people will perceive this when I tell them this fact. Do they think I'm a pretentious show-off? Do they think I'm cool? Do they think it's impossible? Do they not like the fact that I can play so many instruments? I asked myself so many times tonight: should I have lied and said I could only play one instrument? But now that I think about it; no. Saying that would only make me a liar to them and myself. I would have let me down.

There's a fine line that separates humility and self-deprecation. That I can play so many instruments is a fact - no form of humility should ever lead me to lie and say that I don't. It's a fact and when I say I play that many instruments, that is all I'm stating. I'm not bragging, I'm not boasting, I'm not showing off. If you asked me, I would tell you plainly. If I lied instead, that would be a form of self-deprecation. If I went around telling everyone I met, "Hey I can play this number of instruments", THAT would be boasting. But I don't usually mention this about myself unless someone probes deeper.

Know the line that separates humility and self-deprecation. It's one thing to go too far and boast until everyone hates you; it's another thing to go too far and reduce yourself to a level lower than that which you are actually at.